back for the first time cliche

First blog of the year... sorry it has been 5 days... been getting myself together lol... not seeming to be an easy task at that

didn get shit faced.. which is a good thing... but i spent all weekend... glorious 4 days off from work, hardly drinking... sounds like an improvement... at least i have given up vodka for the most part... the dreams are haunting as hell

can i jus say i love my kindle so much... books are back in my life, my parents know how to make me smile hard

speakin of smiling hard... the song listed below makes me smile so hard.. its like meeting myself again for the first time the script is awwwesome sauce

i want to say all these prolific things.. but i know they wont change anything in my life... i feel like i wanna get up an do something but i cant... the chains an boundaries in my life keep me locked in this spot... 2011 is the year when i discover wha is holdin me back from my life...

dear god can my w-2 come fast enough... i live for tax season an returns

i hurt but cant pin point the pain... emotionally an physically i hate everyday i wake up... music an monica get me thru the days... tv gets me thru the nights...

how is it that my glass is half full but i cant see it... did the friggin glass disappear...
guess i will jus keep up my facade
"For The First Time"

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,
While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,
And we don't know how,
How we got in to this mad situation,
Only doing things outta frustration

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,

She needs me now but I can't seem to find a time,
I've got a new job now on the unemployment line,
And we don't know how,
How we got into this mess
is it god's test,
Someone help us 'cause we're doing our best,

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

But we're gonna start by
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven't for a while
A while ya
We're smiling but we're close tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

Oooooo
[few times]

She's in line at the door
With her head held high (high)
While I just lost my job but
Didn't lose my pride

But we both know how,
How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,
When you pick yourself up,
You get kicked to the dirt,

Trying to make it work but,
Man these times are hard,

But we're gonna start by,
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,

Doing things we haven't for a while,
A while ya,
We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time.

Ooooo
[few times]

Yeah.....
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying thing we haven't for a while,
We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting, for the first time

ooooo...., yeahh for the first time
(ooooo....), oh for the first time,
Yeah for the first time,
(just now got the feeling that we're meeting...
For the first time)

[x4]
Oh these times are hard,
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby